~~ A moment of weakness, doubt and self loathing~~~

I am rather bummed. not feeling 'da love, not getting the excitement, just not motivated.

This month my walking tally has been terrible. I have probably walked all of 15 miles for the whole month.... definitely a record breaking minimal amount (surpassing my February all-time low of like 22 miles).

I'd love to blame it on cold mornings and warm beds, and furry cuddly pets scattered about the bed, snuggled in and in deep sleep.

I wanna blame it on the depression that has reared its head this month. Or the decrease in energy or the increase in weight (yeah, I've gained a couple of pounds and I am not happy!).

Or work, working my ass off this month at work trying to prove something... to whom I am not sure, and trying to accomplish a goal that is neither reachable at the moment, nor is it worth the effort.

Or my home life with the missus, which ain't all rainbow and unicorns.

At the end of the day I only have myself to blame. The blame game is a temporary game, my end game is to figure out how to SNAP OUT OF IT and get moving again.

Sure, one bright spot is that, in this month, I have done some exercising other than walking. I've hit the gym a little and and am attempting to "shake it up". I am stuck in first gear and quite honestly I am three weeks away from observing my first year in this whole fitness era I have created for myself. Things do not look good at the very moment in my mind, and I hope I shake this off quick enough and get back to work on my health.

So many goals I had set to have accomplished by this time.... and most that were set in July/August have not been set. Not even close.



To leave a comment, please sign in with
or or

Comments (8)

  1. SEC

    Perhap “someone” named Matthew cut into your outdoor strolling?

    October 27, 2016
    1. knights68

      oh well yeah, there was that weathered bastard too! lol

      October 27, 2016
      1. SEC

        they do wreak havoc with plans don’t they

        October 27, 2016
  2. willsblog

    Walking is good, clears the mind, calms the soul and settles the nerves. Depression is daunting and the only way that I know to abate it is to do something for someone else. You may be able to do something for/with your wife, your friends or your neighbors.
    > One of the things I’ve learned about weight loss is to cut your portions down to about half of what you were eating before. The average person eats two or three times what they need to in the way of meat protein. Increasing your intake of fresh fruits and vegetables makes up for the decrease in both portion size and meat intake. They make a calorie free yogurt, that is good, gives you a little something extra and adds nothing to your calorie intake. Cutting out pop and other sugary drinks will also lessen your calorie intake. Drinking lots of water (80 – 100 oz. per day) will also help the weight to come off, lessen hunger and help clean your insides. (Be prepared to make several trips to the bathroom each day), but increasing your intake of water really helps your body since we are about 98% water. My doctor had suggested that I drink sports type drinks but the salt and sugar they contain is not good for anyone. Water contains no calories, is not addicting, has no side affects and does not harm the body nor what you are trying to do.
    > You may feel hungry at first but that will slowly subside as your stomach gets used to less food and more water.

    October 27, 2016
    1. knights68

      I appreciate your thoughts and such, but seriously, this post was not asking for your weight loss advice. Your first couple of sentences were perfect and well received, the rest of it, well… it just wasn’t the time, you know?

      October 28, 2016
  3. ChristiChristi

    The important thing is that you are still hanging in there. Don’t give up.

    October 29, 2016
    1. knights68

      Thanks for the encouragement

      October 30, 2016
  4. andrewvjohnson

    I think the nature is inspiring for having a walk. And the morning walk can really give you the peace of mind and soul. So you may keep this on and may you have the solution of your anxiety.visit rushmyessay.com review for more info.

    February 11, 2017