~~ A moment of weakness, doubt and self loathing~~~
I am rather bummed. not feeling 'da love, not getting the excitement, just not motivated.
This month my walking tally has been terrible. I have probably walked all of 15 miles for the whole month.... definitely a record breaking minimal amount (surpassing my February all-time low of like 22 miles).
I'd love to blame it on cold mornings and warm beds, and furry cuddly pets scattered about the bed, snuggled in and in deep sleep.
I wanna blame it on the depression that has reared its head this month. Or the decrease in energy or the increase in weight (yeah, I've gained a couple of pounds and I am not happy!).
Or work, working my ass off this month at work trying to prove something... to whom I am not sure, and trying to accomplish a goal that is neither reachable at the moment, nor is it worth the effort.
Or my home life with the missus, which ain't all rainbow and unicorns.
At the end of the day I only have myself to blame. The blame game is a temporary game, my end game is to figure out how to SNAP OUT OF IT and get moving again.
Sure, one bright spot is that, in this month, I have done some exercising other than walking. I've hit the gym a little and and am attempting to "shake it up". I am stuck in first gear and quite honestly I am three weeks away from observing my first year in this whole fitness era I have created for myself. Things do not look good at the very moment in my mind, and I hope I shake this off quick enough and get back to work on my health.
So many goals I had set to have accomplished by this time.... and most that were set in July/August have not been set. Not even close.