Marathon Training Tips

Running a marathon is a major life goal for many people, but it takes precise planning and extensive training to succeed in the 26.2-mile-long race. Here are some training tips for marathon hopefuls:

  • Quit your job
  • Hire a personal trainer to make sure you’re training as expensively as possible
  • Make sure you have a pair of new, comfortable running clogs
  • Familiarize yourself with the course ahead of time so you’ll know how to direct ambulances to your location
  • Carbo-load with plenty of pasta the night before you consider entering a marathon
  • Try to run at least once before race day
  • Staying hydrated is important, so be sure to drink plenty of bodily fluids
  • Bear in mind that cramps are a signal you are about to die
  • Visualize your success and how good it will feel to accomplish something hundreds of other people will accomplish before you that day
  • Driving 26.2 miles is also an accomplishment of sorts
  • Be sure to check with your doctor whether you have any health problems that could give you any excuse whatsoever not to do this

Courtesy of THE ONION! lololol

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Comments (8)

  1. Munkyman

    My advice for those seeking to do a marathon. Get a beer & watch TV. The only way I’d run 26 miles is if the warden & his dog were on my trail.
    https://youtu.be/asxrMSVrJ08

    May 18, 2016
    1. knights68

      I agree!!

      May 18, 2016
      1. Munkyman

        But, I’ll happily ride a bicycle 50 or more.

        May 18, 2016
        1. knights68

          Jeez, 50?!? I would love to ride a bike, but my equilibrium is highly suspect (one ear is blown out).

          May 18, 2016
          1. Munkyman

            Trikes are good too. Yeah I plan on doing my 1st 100 mile ride in more than 25 years this year. I did 76 a couple years ago on the 4th of July & I did 40 one day last month & I hope to get one just over 50 done in the next couple weeks.

            May 18, 2016
          2. Munkyman

            https://youtu.be/zFv9jWgSOOc

            May 18, 2016
  2. Bettymom

    Man oh man, that spam is longer than the marathon!

    May 18, 2016
    1. knights68

      he is outta here!

      May 18, 2016
  3. This comment has been deleted